Why Family Meal Time is a Priority in our Home

When the dinner hour comes around in our home, my kids can count on one thing – sitting down together for a family meal.  Eating meals together as a family has become a ritual at our house. From the time my kids were young to them now in their teen years, family meal time has become a priority in our home.

Why Are Family Meals Important?

Family meal time is important because . . .

• Eating dinner together improves communication among family members. It’s a time to communicate with one another without any distractions – no television, no phones. Just time to connect as a family.
• Establishing a regular family meal time shows how much you value spending time with each other. Make family meals a priority in your home and your kids will come to rely on it. It will be something they can count on, showing them that you’re making a commitment to putting family togetherness first. 
• Family meal time offers a chance to unwind from the pressures of the day. As a family, there’s a comfort level in sitting down together to share whatever is on your mind in a safe space where you can just be yourself.
• When families eat dinner together, they often eat healthier. By preparing a family meal, you’re more likely to prepare a healthy, nutritious meal than if you ordered takeout. If you don’t have time to prepare the meal yourself, no worries. There are plenty of healthy meal options available from online meal subscriptions such as Hello Fresh or Blue Apron, to grocery stores and restaurants too.

What Our Meal Times Were Like Growing Up

Both my husband and I spent time around the family dinner table when we were growing up, so eating dinner together was a ritual in our homes. I came from a family of three where my dad worked full time and my mom worked during the school year. Every night, my mom would cook dinner and we’d sit down to eat together as a family.

My husband is from a large family. He’s one of seven! So, you might think that with that many kids there’d be no time for family dinners.  But it was just the opposite. They enjoyed meals together as a family just about every night. My husband’s father made a commitment to eating dinner together as a family despite his crazy hours as real estate broker. In fact, he used family meal time to talk with his kids about their day, to discuss important topics relating to their family, and to discuss what was happening in the world. With so much to share and with so many family members, his family meals could last anywhere from one to two hours!

The Challenges of Family Meal Time Today

Ok, I know that family dinners today don’t typically last hours on end. But some don’t seem to happen at all. Why? Because it seems that so many families are running in different directions all the time. The end result?  Family meal time gets put on the back burner.

Let’s face it  – eating meals together as a family can be challenging at times. If you’re a parent, there’s the stress of working all day especially if you and your spouse work full time. Then, after a long workday, there’s the commute home. It can be daunting thinking about what to prepare for a family dinner let alone wondering how to make time to sit down for one too.   

Kid have their own set of challenges when it comes to meal time. The real pressure for them comes after the school bell rings and when after school activities begin.  Kids today don’t just focus on one activity at a time (such as a single school sport) and do it well. Instead, they are involved in two, sometimes three activities, with some occurring at the same time. And, it’s not just the activity itself.  It’s the travel time to each activity and the time spent practicing to make sure they’re doing the activity really, really well.

With that being said, sharing a family meal together often gets lost in the shuffle. And, no one sits down to eat a meal together.

But I decided that it doesn’t have to be this way for our family.

How We Make Family Dinners Work

There have been times when we’ve subscribed to the craziness of multiple activities at the same time such as driving our kids to a sports practice, religious PREP class, tutoring sessions, or sports tryouts.

Furthermore, I can recall many times when the running back and forth wasn’t just reserved for weekdays. Some sports involved Saturdays and Sunday mornings too. Not only did we wonder when we’d sit down for a family meal, but we wondered how we’d attend mass as a family too.

There were times when we’d do a grab and go approach to dinner or eat dinner separately in shifts. But, more often than not, we made time to sit down together for a family meal.

Here is what worked for us…

• We made a commitment from the beginning to eat dinner together as family. Our kids understood that this was something that was important to us. It was part of our home life. We made it a routine – a habit – and our kids came to rely on it.
• We put home life before work. My husband made sure he was home at a reasonable hour to eat dinner with us as a family. Sure, there were nights where he had a late meeting or where he was traveling for work, but the majority of the time we could count on him to be home for dinner. And since I was a stay-at-home mom, I made an effort to have dinner on the table when he got home.
• We set limits on the activities our kids could do. One sport a season was ok but we did not encourage multiple sports at the same time. For our family, balance was important.
• I’d plan our meals based upon our family’s activities for the week. For example, I’d consider what we had going on each night and adjust the meal accordingly. So, if both kids had an activity on the same night, I’d come up with an easy dinner idea – one that I could prepare quickly or ahead of time – so that we could still sit down together as a family.
• We set realistic expectations for our family meals. Family meal time in our house is simple. First and foremost, it not a gourmet meal or a three-course dinner. It’s not about the meal itself. It’s about spending time together as a family. I learned early on that family meals don’t need to be lengthy like at my husband’s house growing up. In fact, sometimes our dinners were 15 minutes in length if the kids had a lot of homework or had to rush to an activity. But it was better than no time at all. And many times, our dinners began later in the evening, past the regular dinner hour, to accommodate everyone’s schedule.
• I learned there is a season for everything and things change. As we moved from one season to the next, our kids’ activities changed. Therefore, there were times when our family meals were easier to plan and we could sit down to eat a meal without being rushed. So, I tried not to be discouraged during the times when our family meals were rushed or shorter than usual.
• We used family meal time to pray. It’s important for us to say grace at every family dinner. But, it typically isn’t the ‘standard’ grace before meals prayer. Instead, we make up our own. It’s nothing fancy or long. We pray for our family and our friends. Or we mention something specific we are praying for such as for an upcoming test the kids have or praying for someone who is sick.

How Can You Make Family Meal Time Work for You?

If you don’t currently eat dinner together as a family, I hope you will give it a try. Here are some suggestions:

First, start off by setting a goal for your family such as committing to eat dinner together two or three times a week. Then, see if you can increase it from there.

As much as possible, try to prepare a menu ahead of time. It doesn’t have to be set in stone, but take a look at your calendar to see how much time you’ll actually have to prepare the meal.

Keep family meal time simple. Family dinners don’t need to be fancy. You don’t need to impress your kids or your spouse with your culinary skills. If you don’t have time to cook, pick up a healthy meal for your family to eat at home. What’s important is showing them that family meal time is a priority in your house.  

Enlist your kids to help out in the kitchen. Have them help make their favorite meal, prep the ingredients, or set the table. They’ll feel they have an investment in family dinner time and you’ll get some help along the way.

Don’t forget to thank God for this special time. Make it a priority to say grace during your family dinners. It’s not only a way of honoring God for what he provides but it helps the kids get comfortable talking to God too.

In a future post, I’ll share some easy family dinner recipes that will help you get meals on the table in no time. Look for some recipes coming soon!

How do you make family meal time a priority in your home? Please share any tips or tricks that have worked for you and your family in the comments section below.

And there you shall eat before the Lord your God, and you shall rejoice, you and your households, in all that you undertake, in which the Lord your God has blessed you. – Deuteronomy 12:7 (ESV)