This summer, my husband and I did something we never before did in our 20 year marriage. We had a a couple’s getaway – an overnight getaway for just the two of us.
This getaway was something we talked about doing quite often but it never happened. I often ask myself, why did we wait so long for something that is so important to our marriage?
Keeping Up with the Kiddos
It wasn’t that we didn’t crave alone time. In fact, it was just the opposite. We were blessed with children, and we were so thankful for them. However, we often talked about how great it would be to have more than just a few minutes or hours away from the kids to focus on each other.
Like most couples, when our kids were small, we were up to our eyeballs in diapers, feedings, and playdates. Then, as our kids got older, our focus was on school, their grades, and the endless chauffeuring back and forth from one sport to another.
To High School and Beyond!
By the time our kids entered high school, alone time seemed even harder. Of course, our kids were older, but it seemed like we were stretched thinner than ever before. The sports activities increased. Being in high school meant an even greater increase and focus on homework and grades. And then came the killer of them all – college. There were countless hours spent researching college test preparation and test taking. Then it was onward to the college search and selection process. I can’t even tell you the hours we invested in helping to edit college essays, researching potential colleges, and scheduling and attending college visits. By this point, we were spent. We felt like we had no energy (or money left) to even think about planning a getaway for just the two of us.
Don’t get me wrong, we did have some alone time. We settled for snippets of time to talk with each other during our long nightly walks or on an occasional dinner out. But these short pockets of time were simply not enough.
I won’t bore you with so many other reasons (or excuses) of why we let this precious time with each other slip away. All I can say is that I wish we made getting away as a couple a greater priority in our marriage a lot sooner.
The Big 5-0
What jump-started our desire to make our couple’s getaway really happen? It all started with a milestone in my life. This year, I turned 50. An important, birthday, I know, but one I wasn’t really looking forward to. It was something I didn’t want to talk about or think about – let alone celebrate. If you’ve celebrated this milestone yourself, you know what I mean.
But, my husband was already a member of the over 50’s club. So, the stigma of turning ‘the big 5-0′ was gone. He didn’t mind the arrival of the AARP flyers in the mail. He didn’t care about the gray hairs on his head. And a few aches and pains now and then didn’t bother him either. For him, 50 was just a number. But, for me, it was a number that was getting my attention in a big way.
Looking Back to My ‘Younger’ Years
After turning 50, I began to really reflect on my life and our marriage.
- Was I accomplishing God’s purpose for my life?
- Were we heading in the right direction as a couple?
- Did we even know how we each felt about turning a half century older?
- Did we even talk about the goals we met or didn’t meet or the ones we hoped to achieve moving forward?
The answer was a resounding NO! Because we simply didn’t make the time for each other.
So, my husband decided his birthday gift to me wasn’t going to be a piece of jewelry, or an article of clothing, or a gift card. It was going to be a couple’s getaway for just the two of us. A chance to celebrate (not commiserate) this milestone birthday, and our marriage, and our future.
Let the Celebration and the Journey Begin!
Without further ado, our much-needed couple’s getaway became our top priority. We decided that a local getaway would do. So, we packed our bags, loaded up the car, and headed for Cape May, New Jersey – a quaint little shore town about two hours away from home.
We spent two nights in a lovely bed and breakfast called The Harrison right in the center of town. The location couldn’t be beat. We were close to everything – the beach, the restaurants, and of course the shopping! We enjoyed quality time with each other such as riding our bikes each morning. And, we enjoyed many wonderful meals throughout our stay along with kid-free conversation!
Walking on the beach each afternoon was also a favorite as was listening to an acapella group sing songs from our generation in a local park. Most importantly, we just enjoyed being together as a couple.
This was our First Couple’s Getaway, but it Won’t be our Last.
I learned that getting away as a couple isn’t a luxury, it’s a necessity. We needed it and our marriage did too.
Our couple’s getaway taught me a few things…
• There will never be a ‘good’ time to get away.
Let’s face it, life happens. There will always be something else vying for your attention. But, don’t let this precious time with your spouse slip away. There were many years we waited for the ‘perfect’ time to get away. It just didn’t happen. This time, we picked two days on the calendar and decided to go for it.
• You don’t need to break the bank for a couple’s getaway.
We chose a modestly priced B&B within driving distance of our home. Our two-night stay included daily breakfast as well as afternoon tea, snacks, and beverages throughout our stay. It also included free parking, use of beach chairs, beach towels, and a beach bag. We couldn’t ask for more than that! And, we booked our stay during the week, as opposed to the weekend, which was more economical.
• Our getaway helped us reconnect as a couple.
We realized the importance of communicating as a couple instead of just communicating about our children. In addition, it gave us some much needed downtime to relax. We let the stresses and strains of daily life and parenting melt away for a few days.
So, my hope in writing this post is to encourage you to make time alone as a couple a priority in your marriage. And, a couple’s getaway is just the place to start.
Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. – Genesis 2:24 (ESV)
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