Thanksgiving Traditions Old and New

Today’s Monday Morning Inspiration is about embracing new traditions this Thanksgiving.

Every holiday, I think back to the fond memories I had growing up with my family, and Thanksgiving is no exception. Now that the years have passed, it seems I’ve embraced new traditions with my own family but I haven’t forgotten the old ones. When I think of Thanksgiving traditions – both old and new – quite a lot has changed.

Family All Around

Thanksgiving was one of my favorite holidays growing up. I loved the food but most of all I loved the company. It was our tradition to spend each and every holiday (Thanksgiving included), at my grandmother’s home along with my aunt and our cousins.

As a big Italian family, it was custom to have around 18 people for dinner. I remember my grandfather putting up an extra table, right after the long dining room table, to make room for us all. By the time he was finished, the two tables stretched into the family room all the way to the television! It seemed as though we were packed in like sardines at the table with my cousin and I taking the prime spot. You see, we sat in the exact spot where my grandmother and aunt passed the food over our heads to set it on the table. Therefore, we had to duck our heads as the delicious smells of turkey, stuffing, and mashed potatoes passed us by. However, we didn’t mind at all.

Food Prepared from Scratch

Growing up, there were no store-bought Thanksgiving items at our Thanksgiving table. Instead, my grandmother and her sister made all the food. They did this well into their 80’s before their passing. Every item was homemade from the stuffing to the mashed potatoes, to the sweet potato pie. They prepared the food by themselves, not wanting any help with the cooking, because it was simply their passion. To accomplish this, they started days in advance. But they were never stressed by it all. They loved to do it and they did it well.

So Much Yet So Little

What still amazes me is that they accomplished so much with so little. The food was served on my grandmother’s good dishes reserved for the holidays. And despite having no microwave to warm up the food, the meal was perfect every time.  The food was cooked in an old oven with a burner they had to light by hand. There was no dishwasher either. So this meant washing and drying every dish, utensil, pot and pan by hand. And it was all done with grace. There was never a complaint or a grumble about all the work. Instead, they were thankful and grateful for the family before them. And they were simply happy to serve.

Following dinner, my grandfather would take out the newspaper and we’d spread it over the table, carefully pouring over the upcoming Christmas sales in the newspaper. Perusing the sales ads carefully, we’d talk about what we wanted for Christmas and we’d plan our Christmas shopping for the days to come.

After dinner came dessert and my grandmother’s famous sweet potato pie – homemade of course. I’ll never forget my grandmother mischievously passing her sweet potato pie off as pumpkin pie to my cousin every year.  The fact was, he was not a sweet potato fan.  So, every year he’d ask if it was pumpkin pie she was serving. And, every year my grandmother would say yes it was.  In the end, he’d enjoy every single bite. Dessert wouldn’t be complete without a piping hot cup of coffee or tea too.

Old Fashioned Conversation

In addition to the good food, there was great conversation. After dessert, we would play a card game like 500 Rummy (my grandfather’s favorite) and sit around the table and talk. No one was on their cell phone (we didn’t have them at the time) and there were no iPads, tablets, E-readers or laptops to distract us either. It was just good old-fashioned conversation. Imagine that!

Speaking of conversation, my grandparents asked us many questions during our Thanksgiving holidays, and we were always happy to answer them. The conversation ranged from what we were doing in school to what we wanted to be when we grew up. And, when we were older and in college, they’d ask us about our weekends and how we spent our time with our friends.

By the same token, they’d tell us funny stories about their families growing up. Moreover, they often talked about their visits to the local senior center they’d walk to each week. And who can forget the stories of their infamous trips to the Casinos in Atlantic City of which they were frequent visitors. What a blessing it was be present to each other, talking to one another without interruptions or distractions. And, having real face-to-face conversations – ones that weren’t communicated over text, email, or laden with emojis.

A Smaller Thanksgiving

Fast forward to today and I’ve embraced some new Thanksgiving traditions but not forgetting the old. Today, my Thanksgiving is much smaller. These days, our Thanksgivings are typically spent at my mom’s house with my sister and her family which total 10 in all. Just like my grandmother, my mom prepares the turkey, my grandmother’s famous stuffing, along with mashed potatoes too – all made from scratch.  But, this time, my sister and I lend a hand. We each bring some side dishes too.

Looking back, I realize how different my mom’s kitchen is from my grandmother’s kitchen. My mom uses her oven to cook most of the food, while a large roaster sits on the counter to cook the bird, and the toaster oven is used to heat up the dinner rolls. Modern technology at its best.

Since it’s just our immediate family who gathers for Thanksgiving, we can all fit around one table now so we eat in the dining room. After dinner, we enjoy my mom’s homemade pumpkin pie. Thanksgiving is the time we also celebrate my son’s birthday. So, a birthday cake for him is always on the menu at our Thanksgiving feast. It’s hard to believe that 19 years ago I brought my son home on Thanksgiving Day. Truly something to be thankful for.

A New Normal

After dinner, my sister and I help my mom clear the table.  Unlike past Thanksgivings, we load the dishes into the dishwasher so cleanup is a breeze. Then, we gather around the table to check out the Black Friday sales just like we did at my grandmother’s house.  But instead of looking at piles of newspaper sale circulars, we mostly go online – on our phones or tablets – to see what deals are available.  From there, we plan our Christmas shopping and look forward to what we can buy online instead of facing the mad rush of shoppers at the store.

When my kids were young, my dad would often play with them after the Thanksgiving meal while my sister and I enjoyed some much-needed adult conversation. Each and every time, my dad came to the rescue. Whatever the kids wanted to do, he was happy to oblige.

On Thanksgiving, the men in our family often gather in the family room to watch the latest football game. Now that my kids and my sister’s kids are mostly teens or young adults, they watch too but with their cell phones right at their side. They wouldn’t want to miss the latest text, Facebook, or snap chat message from their friends after all.

The Thanksgiving feast wouldn’t be complete without my mom’s homemade pumpkin pie along with a few store-bought goodies too.

Looking Back with Love not Regret

Sometimes, I feel sadness when I think of Thanksgivings past. I miss my grandparents so much and our special Thanksgiving traditions. And, I long for our time together as a family around that big dining room table. Who can forget the amazing food. But what I remember most of all are the conversations. Those are memories I won’t ever forget. But I know that times change. And, often when people pass on, traditions change too.

This year, when we celebrate Thanksgiving at my mom’s home, I’m sure we’ll reminisce about the good old days at my grandmother’s house and the happy Thanksgivings we shared around that table. And, I’m sure that we’ll enjoy a laugh or two remembering the funny stories shared at our Thanksgiving dinners. Retelling those tales seems to bring us joy instead of sorrow about how things have changed.

So, this holiday, I’ll once again embrace the new traditions that my family and I share but I surely won’t forget the old ones. I realize now just how lucky I was to have those childhood experiences. And, I intend to hold on to every one of them. To commit them to memory. And, to never let them go.

This Thanksgiving, and other holidays to come, I’ll continue to honor the new traditions I’ve established with my own family.  I hope and pray that one day my children will commit these Thanksgiving traditions to memory too and will hold on to them for a lifetime. 

What are your Thanksgiving traditions? Please share in the comments section below.

“And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.: – Colossians 3:17 (NIV)